He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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