She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
