Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
