It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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