Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
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