I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
