I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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