dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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