sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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