what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
