I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
