I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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