i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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