yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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