you would pick up someone in the library
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
