the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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