I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
