The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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