Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize