I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
