u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
