i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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