Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
