it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Randomize