he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
