do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
