addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
