I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
time to smoke my breakfast
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
