i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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