dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
do nipples grow back?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
