I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it's great music for shaving your balls
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
