Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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