Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
