Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
