I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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