New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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