just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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