just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize