I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
