How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
