Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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