I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
