I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
