i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize