I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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