I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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