I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
