He felt like a one man threesome
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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