erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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