Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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