Don't make out with my wife yet
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
