i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
