Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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