Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
