whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
