He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
