It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
