I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
