my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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