It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize