Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
