I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
