ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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