You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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