You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
